Ivory and Asphodel
by Forever in Your Heart
Summary: Is it still a love story if the ending isn't happy?
1. Act One: Pearl Dust

_Ivory and Asphodel_

 _"It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see." -Henry David Thoreau_

 _Act 1: Pearl Dust_

The first time Gale Hawthorne sees Madge Undersee, really sees her, not in passing or as part of a crowd, but actually registers her as a person all on her own, he is ten years old.

It's a gray November day, sunless sky, glittering coal dust air. The wind blows, sweeps across the district with cold and strength, shakes leaves from their trees.

Gale is young, carefree (or as carefree as anyone in twelve could ever be), isn't yet missing a dead father, not yet angry and responsible for things beyond his years.

He walks home with his friends, laughs at bad jokes only children find amusing and then something blows across his feet, shining white in a world made entirely in shades of gray.

It's a hat, hand knitted and cleaner than anything Gale has ever seen. The Seam is dirty, always always and nothing stays white there and Gale bends down, picks up this strange white hat in almost wonder.

(he's almost afraid, like the coal dust stitched into his skin will ruin it)

He stands, stretches the fabric between his fingers and he doesn't know why he's so fascinated but he is.

"My hat!" a little voice calls, carried to him by wind currents and he turns, sees a small blur of a person hurrying towards him.

It's a girl, tiny and slight and the wind blows at her back and he thinks it might pick her up, carry her away and over the trees.

(but she's not a girl like Gale has ever seen before; she's like nothing he'd ever find in the Seam, maybe not even in Town)

She's got hair like soft gold, curled at the ends and pinned with ribbons in pastel blues and pinks. It flutters around her pale little face, rosy cheeks and red kissed nose. Her coat's crisp and clean, no holes or fraying threads like his, a sweet blue like the sky at dawn. Her eyes are a clearer blue, like flowers swaying in the meadow by the fence and she's got little gloves in cream, stockings whiter than clouds in summer.

She's almost like a ghost, too pale and muted and Gale thinks she must not be real, nothing's that untouched by the dust of District Twelve.

"You've caught my hat!" she says and she's right before him, puffing with hasty breaths. His fingers tighten on it, not that he's sure why and she blinks at him, waits for him to move.

"How'd you lose it?" he asks and he doesn't know why he cares. She seems surprised he wants to talk, cheeks turning pinker and she looks down, shuffles her shiny black shoes.

"The wind," she whispers, wavery but there's awe in her voice. "It came and puffed it right from my head!"

He nods and she looks up and he thinks maybe there's something like summer skies in her eyes.

"Thank you, for catching it. My Nana made it for me," she tells him, voice less tremulous and his friends are waiting, whispering and snickering behind their hands.

"Whatever," he says, tosses it at her. She catches it, looks startled and then disappointed as he turns away.

"My name's Madge," she tells his back and if he were older he'd notice the longing sadness in her tone.

"Gale's got a girlfriend!" Parry teases and Thom laughs, the other boys joining in.

"Nuh uh," Gale counters, frowning. "I'd never date her, she's a _townie_."

He says it with just the right amount of _ew, gross_ in his voice and the other boys laugh, but this time at Madge, at townies, at all those pale little ghosts eating better meals. He doesn't see Madge behind him, doesn't know she clutches her hat tight, doesn't know tears start to burn in her bluebell eyes.

He doesn't know his callous words have hurt her, doesn't know he should care. The Seam and the Town, they're like two different worlds and Gale's never met a townie who didn't look down their nose at him.

(the Capitol breads hatred early)

Madge runs away then and Gale almost forgets about white and pale and a ghost girl he met in November.

But he'll remember a hat, too clean for his hands, stained since birth and maybe that's what matters.

* * *

 _Madge Undersee goes home that night, huddles under bed covers and wonders why, why, why will no one be friends with her?_

 _That boy, the one who stopped her hat, Madge had a second of hope, a moment where she believed in maybe, but then he was just like all the others, pushing her away because of Daddy, because of her shiny shoes and nice lunches and not for the first time, Madge wishes she were homeless, because then, at least, she might not be so lonely._

* * *

The first time Gale Hawthorne looks at Madge Undersee and hates her, he is thirteen.

(he's got a dead father, a mourning family and an anger he'll never quite learn to tame)

He stalks around the schoolyard at the end of the day, drags Rory after him and wonders where the hell Vick's got to, because they were supposed to meet by his classroom but he's nowhere to be seen.

He hears laughter then, bright and cheery and it makes him irrationally angry, because _how dare they laugh when his whole world's been torn apart?_ He turns a corner around the building and there they are, Madge Undersee, laughing like she doesn't have a care in the world and Vick, staring up at her like she's the sun.

"Really?" Vick asks her, voice hushed and Madge nods, eyes glowing.

"Of course! I made them myself," she tells him with a smile and then Gale sees what they're talking about, sees Madge handing Vick homemade cookies with little bits of chocolate baked into the top.

For some reason this makes him furious, makes him want to stomp over there and throw her cookies in the dirt.

"Vick!" Gale barks and Vick turns quick, cookie half in his mouth. Madge looks over too, caution starting to flitter over her face.

Gale walks right up to them, pulls Rory with him and Madge tries to smile, but he can see it, the disdain that tugs at her lips.

"Hello," she mumbles, eyes not quite meeting his face.

"What are you doing?" he demands and there's a harshness in his tone, one he hasn't been able to shake since his father didn't come home.

"She's got cookies!" Vick offers as an explanation and Rory tugs on Gale's hand.

"I want a cookie!" he whines and Madge seems to brighten, smiles for real this time.

"I've got plenty, here," she offers, holds out a little plastic tub of them and Gale feels something hot chewing at his gut.

Gale's in a spiral, a downward one because he's young and he's hurt and heartbroken and there's weights on his shoulders he's not meant to carry.

(he'll get better one day, but that day's not today)

Rory greedily scoops up a cookie, stuffs it in his face.

"More, please?" Vick questions, uses the voice he always uses when he wants to look extra sweet and cute.

Madge beams, "Of course! Take as many as you want!"

Gale wants to say no, wants to leave right now but he can't deny his brothers, not when they're smiling like they haven't in weeks.

He glares at Madge Undersee instead and for the first time, he hates her.

She's got a big old house, never has to worry about going hungry, has a father whose whole and well. She'll never be reaped, wastes money on whatever she wants, can throw cookies at them like it's no big deal. She doesn't understand, _will never_ understand and he hates her for it.

Hates what she has, what he'll never have.

It isn't _fair_.

"Come on, Ma'll be worried," he murmurs to his siblings, gestures at them to start walking. They do but Gale lingers, turns to Madge Undersee.

She meets his eyes, wilts when she sees the look in them.

"We don't need your charity," he spits and she shakes her head.

"It isn't-" she starts but he doesn't want to hear it.

"Go home and play with your dolls, bake your stupid cookies but stay away from us, we don't need your help," he growls and then he marches off, catches up to his brothers.

He's left Madge in tears again and he doesn't know it, too caught up in his throbbing heart, his anger and yearning for the father he misses with a pain too sharp and fresh to bear.

He'll regret this moment later, regret it deep in his bones but that comes too late.

For now, he hates Madge Undersee.

(he'll regret _that_ even more)

* * *

 _Madge Undersee walks home slowly, sniffles to herself and doesn't really blame Gale Hawthorne._

 _He was rude, horribly so, a cruel edge to his voice no boy should have but then, he's not a boy anymore, has had to grow up far too fast._

 _She tries to imagine losing her Daddy, can't even fathom how much he must be hurting. It's not an excuse, not really, because no matter how sad you are, it's not right to lash out at others._

 _Still, she understands. Gale Hawthorne has to be big and strong for his brothers, for his mother, for himself and never ever let all his pain out, can't be broken like he needs to be._

 _Still, she hates him a little bit, hates his rudeness, hates how he makes her cry._

 _(and somewhere deeper, she hates the friends he has at school, hates the brothers that look at him like he's a hero, hates the girls that giggle about him, hates the mother he can always count on)_

 _(she's jealous, she's bitter and she knows it's horrible, because he's lost his father, goes to bed hungry, has a much higher chance of being reaped)_

 _(but just like Gale lashes out at her, she lashes out at him)_

 _Maybe they're both a bit broken._

* * *

The first time Gale Hawthorne looks at Madge Undersee and doesn't hate her, he's eighteen.

Katniss is in the Hunger Games and he doesn't know how to handle that, how to keep his chest from bursting wide open.

(and there's always that voice in his head, the one that says he should have volunteered, gone in to make sure she came out alive)

He can't watch with his family, can't watch with Katniss' family, can't risk them seeing the broken bits in his eyes.

(he's so sure he has to be strong for them, doesn't realize its okay to let them be strong for him sometimes)

He goes to the town square instead and for some reason, so does Madge Undersee. She's got a fancy house filled with lovely furniture and yet, here she is.

It makes him mad.

(but so do most things)

At first, she stands away from him, close enough so he can see her, far enough that he can almost pretend she isn't there.

And then the parade happens.

Katniss sets the Capitol on fire, looks incredible and breathtaking in flames. Madge walks up to him, stands right beside him.

"Katniss can win," she murmurs, a strength and conviction Gale's never heard before in her voice. She's always so quiet, timid but here she is, sounding invincible.

He peeks at her from the corner of his eye, sees her faith burning in her eyes. She believes in Katniss with enough fire to light the sun and Gale doesn't know why, but it hits something inside him.

(maybe it's realizing he doesn't have to do this alone)

"I know," he snaps and Madge nods, trusts in Katniss and her courage.

He's still looking at her but he keeps his head turned to the front, doesn't want her to know he's looking. And under her sudden surge of strength, he can see the same fear he can feel clogging up his veins.

And in that moment of reflection, he stops hating Madge Undersee for the first time in years.

It doesn't last long, but it's there and it's a start.

* * *

 _Madge Undersee doesn't know when exactly she stops being jealous of Gale, when she stops hating him._

 _But maybe it's when his whole body tenses when the recap of Katniss being reaped is shown or maybe it's when he doesn't stalk off when she stands beside him._

 _Maybe it's when she feels a little less lonely, because she's not the only one falling apart over Katniss, Gale is here too._

 _(or maybe it's even before that, starts slowly over the years as she sees just how good a person he is, buried under all that rage. When he lifts Posy up in his arms, makes her squeal with laughter, when he spends all his Sundays out hunting, keeps his family fed, when he teaches Katniss snares, when he cheers up a crying Prim, scowls at Capitol injustice, when she sees the look he and Katniss share when she stands on stage, the look that promises Gale Hawthorne will look after the Everdeens, keep them fed and safe)_

 _Either way, the Games change everything._

* * *

The first time Gale Hawthorne looks at Madge Undersee and stops hating her, for good this time, it's only a few days later, but it almost feels like a lifetime.

They watch the Games side by side but he wouldn't consider it _together_. They don't talk, barely interact but maybe there's something in just knowing you're not alone.

(he doesn't like to think about it)

Katniss gets an eleven in training and he's blown away, truly, because that's the best score he's ever seen. He feels confidence start to burn his veins but then it fades, replaced with a freezing chill.

She'll be a target.

Every career will be gunning for her now.

 _"Bastards_ ," Madge hisses from beside him and he's baffled, completely caught off guard. There's a rage he recognizes form his mirror in her eyes and she clenches her hands. Gale has never seen her angry, doesn't know how to feel.

"They did this on purpose," Madge whispers to him, voice laced with fury, "those _assholes_ in the Capitol, but Katniss will show them. I know she will."

Gale doesn't say anything, couldn't if he tried and when he looks at Madge Undersee, he realizes he's been seeing her all wrong for years.

(and maybe, he realizes he owes Madge Undersee an apology, because he's been an ass and the girl beside him, she never deserved that)

Maybe he's been seeing her wrong all along.

* * *

 _Madge Undersee wonders if Gale even realizes how much he does for her, how much his silent companionship means._

 _Madge is used to being lonely, is used to silence but with Gale, this silence isn't cold and the Games may be horrible, but there's a strength in numbers Madge is experiencing for the first time._

 _(she wonders if he understands how much his sorry means, how much his sincerity strikes her. Madge has been hated all her life, but Gale Hawthorne's the first person to say sorry, the first person to tell her she deserves better)_

 _She still gets a little jealous sometimes, can't help the sparks of bitter ugliness, but every day that he stands beside her is a day it grows fainter, weaker._

 _They aren't perfect, but then, whoever said they had to be?_

* * *

The first time Gale Hawthorne looks at Madge Undersee and thinks maybe, _maybe_ , they could be friends, the Seventy-Fourth Hunger Games are drawing to a close.

There's only a handful of tributes left, two of them Katniss and Peeta, District Twelve's star crossed lovers.

(that feels wrong, feels like acid and bad dreams)

He's watching with Madge in the square, just like always (and when did _Madge_ and _always_ become a part of his life?) and there's a tenseness in both of them, because the end is nearing, they can feel it.

Katniss embraces Peeta on screen, hugs him so tight Gale doubts he can breathe. She's terrified, because he almost ate nightlock, almost died and Gale knows Katniss isn't acting, knows her sincerity well.

He keeps telling himself it's an act, just a game but moments like these, they tell him that _no, it isn't_.

He doesn't even realize he's started clenching his fists until Madge takes one of his hands, rubs soft fingers over his knuckles, relaxes his hand limp. Gale looks at her in surprise but she's focused on the screen, continues to trace soothing circles on his skin.

Yellow light makes Madge look golden and she squeezes his hand, and there's something like comfort and a promise, _I'm here, you're not alone._

He doesn't pull away and realizes with a jolt in his gut that he _doesn't mind_.

Doesn't mind Madge's warmth, her presence, doesn't mind that she's here, seeing the parts of him no one else is allowed to.

(and if you dug deep enough, you'd realize that it isn't just that he doesn't mind, it's that he appreciates it, maybe even enjoys it)

It's surreal, but he thinks that maybe, _maybe maybe_ , he wouldn't mind being friends with Madge Undersee.

He gives her a bit of a squeeze back.

Maybe.

* * *

 _Madge Undersee sometimes feels like she's drowning, because that's her best friend, her only friend and she's so close to death, always, always, always._

 _But then Gale Hawthorne rests a hand on her shoulder and something like liquid strength flows from his fingers into her blood, makes her less afraid._

 _They're both dipping below the waves but they're always there to pull each other up, to keep their heads above water._

 _When Katniss cries, broken over Rue, Madge cries too, useless and unable to help. But Gale is there and he squeezes her arm, moves closer to her side._

 _He'll probably never know, but it means everything to Madge._

* * *

(but then Katniss comes home and he kisses her, tells her and him that it's just this once, that he had to do it _just once_ but it reignites the embers inside him, gives him hope and a taste of possibility.

Gale falls back into Katniss Everdeen, forgets about almost friends and Madge Undersee fades into the background of his life, lost in the edges of his vision)

(he'll regret this later, but then, he'll regret a lot later)

* * *

 _(but then Katniss is home and Madge has her best friend back and what does she need with Gale Hawthorne anymore?_

 _they move out of each other's orbits, fall back into who they were, except not, because he isn't cruel, she isn't bitter)_

 _(they're just two people, tied together with faint memories and could have beens)_

* * *

Except the story's not over, not quite.


	2. Act Two: Between Heart Beats

_Ivory and Asphodel_

 _Act Two: Between Heart Beats_

The first time Gale Hawthorne looks at Madge Undersee and wishes he hadn't, the Victory Tour's crawling nearer and nearer and he really should have seen it coming.

He's walking home from work with Thom, feels creaky and old. There's a crick in his neck and he rolls his shoulder, tries to work through the stiffness in his limbs. Thom grunts beside him, stretches at tired muscles and they both squint at the sun, much too bright after a long day underground.

(working in the mines, it seems to get worse every day)

The Victory Tour's soon, Katniss and Peeta displaying their love story yet again for the Capitol to see and Gale's not sure how he feels about that, doesn't know what he's supposed to think.

(and there's that kiss, haunting his lips)

Everyone's been walking on eggshells around him, careful and cautious, afraid to mention it.

And Gale, Gale _hates_ it.

He hates being treated like he's made of glass, like one mention of star crossed lovers and he'll shatter into a hundred pieces. Sure, he doesn't enjoy thinking about her with Peeta, doesn't want to dwell on their relationship but he just wishes everyone would remember that he's more than just the guy who loves Katniss Everdeen, would stop defining him by her.

"Ugh, I could sleep for a week," Thom complains, pulls him back into the present. Gale nods, understands, but of course, they'll be up just as early tomorrow, off to work themselves to death in the mines. He's about to respond (not that he's sure with that) when he sees her, _Madge Undersee_ , leaving the Fieldfares' house.

 _What the hell?_ he thinks because why would Madge Undersee be here, in the Seam? Why would she be visiting the Fieldfares?

(the question he doesn't ask is _why do I care so much_?)

She looks skittish, like she doesn't want to be here and that, at least, doesn't surprise him.

(though, for some reason, it does make him uncomfortable, or _something_ he can't quite pin down)

"Gale?" Thom questions, clearly confused as to why he's stopped walking but Gale doesn't answer, keeps his gaze stuck to Madge Undersee. She's huddled up like she thinks the Seam is dangerous, like she wants to escape unseen. She's got accusing eyes, sweeping over the streets like they're diseased and Gale feels that, feels it like a knife.

He remembers that far away thought, the one that maybe, _maybe_ he and Madge Undersee could be friends but looking at her now, he knows how completely _stupid_ that was.

Madge Undersee would never be his friend, can barely stomach the world he's from. She walks quick, desperate to get out and Gale follows her with his eyes, too clean and pristine for someone like him. She disappears, is probably relieved to get away from the Seam and all the people in it and Gale feels his hands curl into fists, feels that old anger start to lick against his skin.

(he hasn't spoken to her since the Games and the thought that she's probably _grateful_ he hasn't digs its way inside him, burrows deep)

He keeps seeing her face, narrowed eyes, wrinkled nose, pursed lips. That's a look of disgust, one he sees on every face in town. She's just like the rest of them, clearly thinks she's better than him and all the people here.

(he wants to get angry, but isn't, not really. he's something worse)

She probably only tolerated him because of Katniss, probably couldn't wait to go their separate ways.

(that's not true and a part of him knows it, but being angry, that's something Gale knows how to do, is _good_ at doing)

He's never felt so stupid but then, Madge Undersee has a habit of doing that, of making him feel things he doesn't want to.

Not that it matters now.

She's run right out of his life and he won't be chasing after her.

(at least not yet)

* * *

 _Madge doesn't think much about what she's doing when she volunteers to drop something off for Mrs Everdeen at the Fieldfares' house._

 _She's just about to leave from visiting Katniss and sure, it's a bit out of her way, but not like it would be for Mrs Everdeen and Madge likes being helpful, feels happy she can do something for someone else._

 _It's not until she reaches the Seam that she realizes that she may have made a mistake._

 _Dark eyes glare at her through windows, hostile and unwelcoming. She doesn't belong here, that's what those angry eyes say and she feels like she has hooks in her skin, trying to drag her out and back to town._

 _She's used to being hated but she's never ventured into the Seam before, isn't used to entire streets filled with people who'd like her gone. She can feel her body language changing, feels herself curling inwards and she can't wait to get out, to stop feeling dirty looks like needles in her skin._

 _By the time she leaves the Fieldfares', her feet are moving quickly, ready to leave. They hate her here and she can hardly breathe, wants to get back home, where at least no one looks at her like she's straight from the Capitol itself._

 _Maybe it's for the best she and Gale never actually became friends, after all, it's not like she could ever visit him, not like his friends would ever tolerate her presence._

 _This makes her mouth tighten, something hardening in her stomach. The Capitol's done this, torn Twelve right in half and Madge can't help but hate them._

 _She doesn't belong here and it's all their fault._

* * *

The first time Gale Hawthorne looks at Madge Undersee and realizes that he's wrong about her, _again_ , he's nineteen and just said goodbye to Katniss.

It's a few days before the tour, because it just seems easier, when he's still her friend and not some cousin no one wants to make a scene.

(and that's a lie that still tastes just as bitter as the day he first heard it)

He's got his hands stuffed in his pockets as he walks home, kicks at rocks on the road and keeps his head turned down, doesn't watch where he's going. He's not the only one, because a few streets from home someone walks right into him, or maybe he walks into them, but either way, a blonde head collides with his chest.

Gale 'oofs' in surprise and the blonde squeaks, bounces off him and stumbles over their feet in shock. Gale reaches a hand out automatically, grabs hold of the girl and helps stand her up. His fingers are still wrapped around her arm and he recognizes the soft skin, realizes a second before his eyes find her face that it's Madge Undersee.

She blinks at him in surprise, cheeks swelling red and he drops her arm like it's burned him, takes a hasty step back. He darts his eyes away from her flustered expression, catches on the basket she must've dropped when they ran into each other. He thinks he might recognize it, thinks it might belong to the Everdeens and then Madge swoops down, quickly picks it up. His eyes follow it and she won't look at him, spends a ridiculous amount of time brushing non-existent dirt off the basket.

He feels a surge of _something_ , frustration or anger or annoyance, something hurt and unhappy when she keeps her eyes studiously on that basket, remembers the last time he saw her. She's still just as uninterested in him as ever, still can't stand to even look this dirty Seam kid in the eye.

"What are you doing here?" he bites out and she bristles but he doesn't care, doesn't care at all.

(except he does)

"I was dropping something off for Mrs Everdeen," she replies testily, does meet his eyes then, her expression flashing with dislike. She glares up at him and it's strange, seeing those blue eyes narrowed with something like venom.

"Now, if you don't mind," she snaps, "I'd like to go." She brushes past him, knocks his arm with her shoulder and he can't let her go just like that, won't let her just walk away.

"Of course, wouldn't want to spend too much time in the Seam. You might get your dress dirty," he retorts spitefully and she stops in her tracks, whirls around with animosity heavy across her face.

"Oh _yes_ , Gale, _very_ clever. That's exactly it! I'm afraid I'll get dirty! Your deductive reasoning skills are absolutely astounding!" she almost snarls, voice dripping with sarcasm. He's a little surprised, has never seen her this peeved but apparently she isn't done, still has more to say.

"You know, I can't believe you!" she vents, starts marching towards him. "I _thought_ that after watching the Games together, you'd at _least_ be civil, but no! You're an even bigger ass than ever!" She jabs him hard in the chest with her finger, irritation painted in red across her cheeks.

"I'm an ass?" he demands, voice louder than intended. "At least _I_ don't look like I'm about to puke every time I'm in your neck of the woods!" He's breathing a little heavy, almost shouting but she doesn't even flinch, curls her lips in derision.

"No, you just avoid my 'neck of the woods' like it's the plague!" she fumes and he can feel himself tense.

"And why wouldn't I? If I ever do come around, everyone looks at me like I'm some sort of diseased fucking rat!" He's seething and she throws her hands up in the air, looks ready to boil over.

"And how do you think I feel every time I come here? Every time I walk down the street, every _single_ person looks at me like I'm Snow's best friend! I'd have _thought_ you'd show some empathy but _no,_ instead you treat me like garbage because I'm not eager to stick around where I'm clearly unwanted!"

She seems to be swelling with pent up aggression and he can feel some of his indignation start to flag.

"I know everyone hates me, _I know_. But having everyone glare at me as I walk down the street, feeling all their hostility and accusation every time I so much as pass by, it _kills_ me. So yes Gale, I do want to get out of here quickly and I'm not alone. You and everyone else clearly want me gone too."

She's red faced and heaving and he feels something curling in his gut, something strange and a little painful. Madge gives him one last incensed look and turns on her heel, starts to stalk away and Gale feels her words like a slap in the face.

"Madge. Madge, wait!" he calls and she hesitates in her deliberate pace, seems unsure whether or not she's willing to spend any more time chewing him out. She finally seems to decide that yes, she's had enough of him for one day, keeps walking away and he hurries after.

"I'm sorry," he says, means it and she stops, clearly caught off guard.

"I'm sorry," he repeats, wonders why he keeps misunderstanding, why he keeps seeing her in all the wrong lights. She hasn't turned to face him yet and he understands, addresses her back instead.

"I saw you, a while ago, walking back from the Fieldfares'. You looked so... _disgusted_ by everything around you and I just...I assumed it was because you thought the Seam was below you, like we weren't worth your time. Like we were dirty and worthless." Madge's shoulders tense up and then relax and he wonders what that means.

"I was wrong. I'm _always_ wrong about you and...I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Madge. I'm just so used to everyone from town treating us like trash...I guess I just saw your face and interpreted it the same as everyone else's. But I know you and I should've _known_ that wasn't you. It was easier I guess, to lump you in with them. I'm sorry."

(he's never apologized like this, not to anyone and yet, for some reason, it doesn't feel strange, doesn't feel odd in any way)

Madge finally turns around, the anger drained from her face. She breathes a little deeply, squeezes the basket handle.

"I'm sorry, too," she says and he doesn't think she owes him that much of an apology, but just nods instead, accepts it without arguing.

(he doesn't want to argue anymore)

"And you're wrong, I don't want you gone," he offers and he doesn't know why he's saying it, doesn't know where it's coming from. Madge jerks her head up, eyes round and he feels a flush start to crawl up his neck. Her mouth opens slightly and he's desperate to change the subject, doesn't trust himself not to say something else he doesn't understand.

"If being here is so awful for you, why are you always here? Mrs Everdeen could probably run her own errands," he rushes out in a jumble, feels beyond stupid. Madge bites her lip, the surprised pink starting to fade from her cheeks.

"Because I like helping Mrs Everdeen," she starts and then pauses, works up her courage, "and because I don't want to let someone else's hatred define my life." He blinks, feels his voice stick in his throat and Madge shuffles her feet.

"I mean, if I hide from everyone who hates me, I'd never leave my house. And things will never change if we let them stay the same."

Her voice carries through the stillness of sunset and Gale is staring at her, isn't sure he recognizes the girl before him.

"I know, just walking up and down the street isn't doing much, won't change anyone's opinion, but still, it's better than just staying away. And maybe one day I'll be brave enough to actually do something, talk to someone, try and make friends. I keep telling myself that if I deliver enough medicine to people, smile enough, wish them a good day, they'll start seeing me as, maybe not a friend, but at least not the enemy. It's stupid, I know, but maybe, if I can show them I don't think badly of them because they're from the Seam, they'll stop seeing me badly just because I'm the mayor's daughter."

The sun's dipped below the horizon and Madge seems to glow around the edges, voice trailing off and Gale doesn't know what to say. One wrong look and he's ready to chew her head off, and yet, here she is, taking everyone's hatred head on, always hoping for a better tomorrow.

Gale looks at Madge Undersee in dusk and maybe, _maybe_ he realizes something he might've always known deep down.

Madge Undersee isn't like anyone else.

Madge Undersee's amazing.

Maybe.

(except there is no maybe.

Madge Undersee _is_ amazing)

* * *

 _Madge walks home with Gale and they don't say anything, the silence not quite comfortable, but not quite uncomfortable either._

 _She's said more to him in this moment than she has to anyone ever and it feels a little cathartic to have let it out. Her anger, her frustration, her hope, her_ everything.

 _Gale's got an odd look in his eyes, but Madge doesn't question him, is happy with how they are._

 _His apology's still ringing in her ears and it's incredible she thinks, how much he's changed, how ready he is to swallow his pride, admit he's wrong. She keeps convincing herself he's nothing but a jerk, but then he pulls the rug out from under her, says I'm sorry and means it._

 _It would've been easier, she thinks, to just let her walk away but he didn't, was willing to take responsibility. She admires the courage that probably took, hopes that maybe he's finally learning that divides like 'town' and 'seam' were dreamed up by the Capitol to keep them turned against each other._

 _They aren't friends, not really, but one day, they could be._

 _(Madge feels it like a victory)_

* * *

The first time Gale Hawthorne looks at Madge Undersee and misses her, he's nineteen and the victory tour's in full swing.

Katniss travels from district to district, makes stilted speeches up on stage beside Peeta Mellark and Gale sits in the Everdeens's living room, feels like he's forgotten something important. It's not until he decides to watch in the square one day, for old time's sake, that he realises just what he's been missing all this time.

(her comforting presence, her soothing touch, her understanding smile.

he's been missing that feeling of belonging, of having someone standing by his side, of watching with someone who loves Katniss too)

(this is true, but it's not the whole truth, but the whole truth, well, Gale's not ready for that yet)

Madge Undersee watches by herself in the crowd, fingers tangled in the pale lavender of her dress. She's got her eyes fixed on the screen, on Katniss in District Eight and Gale's walking towards her without even being aware of it.

He draws near and she seems to sense him, turns and blinks blue-blue eyes.

"Gale?" she questions, voice soft and he can't help but notice how different his name sounds when she says it.

(he doesn't know why that matters, what it means)

(at least not yet)

"Hey," he says and he sounds a little embarrassed, not nearly as unaffected as he'd intended. Madge doesn't seem to notice, looks at him like he can't possibly be real.

"I...I never thought...what are you doing here?" she finally asks, her cheeks a dusty sort of rose and Gale isn't sure why the words stick in his throat.

The truth won't come out, but Madge finds her own courage, meets his eyes timidly.

"Well...I'm glad you are. It's felt so wrong watching by myself, so...lonely." She laughs at herself a little nervously, a little disparagingly and maybe he's been comforting her just as much as she's been comforting him.

He shrugs but she smiles and they watch together, just like they used to.

(he tells himself all they have in common is Katniss, but that's a lie.

he tells himself the only reason he's missed her is that shared connection, but this is also a lie.

but lies are easier to swallow, make things less complicated, so he chooses to believe them, convinces himself they're true.

and if he takes Madge Undersee's hand when she looks worn out and tired one day, listens as words tumble from her lips, about how worried she is for Katniss, how angry she is at all the games the Capitol play with their lives, if he tries to be someone she can lean on, well, he'd lie about that too.

Katniss and Peeta spend their Victory Tour lying to the world and Gale spends it lying to Madge and himself, because lies hurt less.

or so he thinks)

* * *

 _Madge Undersee could tell you the only reason she watches with Gale is because it's better than watching alone._

 _She could tell you it's because they both care about Katniss._

 _And maybe that'd be true._

 _But there's something else, something a little deeper but they ignore it because it's safer this way._

 _Gale still has Katniss in his eyes and Madge still has loneliness in her bones, but maybe, under that, there's bit of Madge in his blood, a bit of Gale in hers._

 _Maybe._

* * *

The first time Gale Hawthorne looks at Madge Undersee and realizes that maybe her life's just as ruined as his, the Tour's winding down and he can almost taste rebellion on the wind.

She's late to the square and he feels weird, standing by himself in the crowd. He fidgets a bit, wonders when that happened, when it began to feel wrong to watch without her. He tries not to let it bother him, tries to focus on Katniss in District Two.

She looks so miserable up on stage and his hatred for the Capitol digs a little deeper, burns a little brighter.

Someone brushes his shoulder and he looks down, notices Madge standing by his side. There are bags under her eyes, her whole face pinched and she looks like she might have sprinted here, hair swept up by the wind.

"You're late," he teases, wants to lighten the darkness in her eyes. She looks down, clasps her hands.

"Sorry," she whispers and he's definitely concerned now, knows something's wrong.

"Are you...okay?" he asks and he wants to say something better but doesn't know what.

"It was just...my mom. She had...a _fit_ , a bad one but my father had already left and Merrie and Mrs Sparrowsaw were out, so it was just me to try and clam her and..." Madge trails off, voice wavering and Gale feels a little cold.

"Your mom's...sick?" he questions, feels like an idiot because obviously. He thinks he might remember hearing a rumour once or twice, something about the mayor's wife being a little off, being wrong in the head.

"No," Madge begins, eyes a little wet. "She just gets these migraines, bad ones and sometimes she's a little...confused. She's not _crazy_ , not like everyone says." There's a little bit of desperation in her voice, like she's trying to convince herself as much as she is him.

"Her twin, Maysilee, she was reaped in the Games and my mom, she's never been the same. Hasn't quite gotten over it. But she's not insane. She's _not_ ," Madge insists, voice strained and Gale nods.

"Of course not," he agrees and Madge jerks her head a bit, inhales sharply.

"She's always worse at the Games and she just...she just wasn't feeling well today. But Mrs Sparrowsaw had stepped out for a minute so I was alone with her and I couldn't get her to calm down, to _stop_...not until Mrs Sparrowsaw came back, gave her some morphling. I wasn't going to come today, I thought I should stay with her but Mrs Sparrowsaw insisted, said she'd take care of her. And I was...I was _relieved_. I feel so terrible, that the housekeeper's more willing to stay with her than her own daughter, but seeing her like that...it always...it always makes me..." she starts to sniffle, tears starting to well and it's an almost an instinct, wrapping an arm around her. The contact seems to snap something inside of her and she starts to sob, leans into him as she shudders.

"I'm such an _awful_ daughter, I know I should be stronger for her but...but sometimes I just feel-I feel like I _can't breathe_. It...it _scares_ me, seeing her like that and I feel like I'm...like I'm _falling apart_. And Daddy's so busy, so _stressed_ and I can't tell him, can't worry him and I just...I just don't know what to do, how to _fix_ her or him or any of us. I feel like my...my whole family is _breaking_ and I just...feel like I'm _suffocating_ in my own home. And that's _horrible_ , _I'm_ horrible."

The words are hard to make out through the sobs and he tightens his grip on her, never saw any of this coming.

"Madge..." he starts but then can't finish, isn't sure how to make this okay. She turns a bit more, presses into his side and he brings his other arm around her, hugs her a little awkwardly.

"Madge, you're not...you're _not horrible_. You're not," he tells her, wishes it was something better. He rubs a hand on her back, tries to comfort her the same way he does Posy when she's sad. Madge's fingers curl in his jacket and he rests a cheek against the top of her head, hopes his actions can do what his word can't.

A few people stare at them strangely, but Gale ignores them, tries to make Madge okay.

(that's really all that matters)

It's another layer to her he didn't see coming and he wonders if the day will ever come when his view of Madge Undersee isn't flipped on its head.

(a part of him hopes the answer's no)

But that's not what's important.

Making Madge okay, that's what matters.

That's it.

* * *

 _Madge wants to say she feels stupid, foolish, pathetic for bawling all over Gale and maybe a tiny part of her does._

 _But mostly, she feels...better. Like she's unburdened herself from something that's been eating her alive._

 _She feels embarrassed sure, but she still remembers feeling safe in his arms, warm against his chest._

 _He cared, he listened, held her as she cried. And for once, Madge Undersee lets herself go, lets someone else be strong for her._

 _It's nice._

* * *

The first time Gale Hawthorne looks at Madge Undersee and understands just how lucky he is to have her, the Tour's reached its end and torn his heart right out.

Peeta proposes to Katniss in the Capitol and she says yes, kisses him joyfully and Gale just stands there, feels like the floor's disappeared beneath his feet.

 _It's just a game_ he tries to think but it isn't, not anymore. This is a wedding, a marriage and that won't just go away, can't just be forgotten when the Capitol grows tired of them.

Gale's lost her, _for real_ this time and he's not sure how to handle that. He feels almost like he's got a hole inside him but before it can gape too large, can start to ache too much, Madge wraps an arm around his waist, leans her head on his arm. Her fingers curl on his hip and she squeezes him, gives him all the strength in her lungs.

Madge is always there, always stopping him from falling apart and he knows he doesn't deserve that, hasn't earned her support. But that's never stopped her, because here she is, putting her other arm around him, holding all the pieces of him together.

His own arms find her, pull her close and she sinks against him, presses her face against his heart. So many things have gone wrong in his life, so many times he hasn't had luck on his side, but just this once, in this one circumstance, he realizes he may one of the luckiest people in the world.

There's only one Madge Undersee and somehow, somehow, she's _here_ , with him.

He's not sure he'll ever deserve that.

* * *

 _Madge hates seeing Gale upset, hates that the Capitol's love story is stomping all over him._

 _She knows she can't fix it, knows she can't make it okay, but she hopes that maybe she can make it a bit better, can make it hurt a little less._

 _Hopefully her arms can give him the same comfort his give her._

* * *

The first time Gale Hawthorne looks at Madge Undersee and forgets all about Katniss Everdeen, he is nineteen and living in a world slowly being strangled.

New rules seem to pop up every day and there's a heavy cloud of oppression, slowly growing, over their heads. Every day it's worse, feels like it's crushing down a little harder and Gale is just a powder keg ready to burst, just needs the right sort of match.

He's on his way home after selling what he's hunted and that's when his eyes land on Madge Undersee, burdened under too many heavy grocery bags. She's bent over with the weight, looks ready to drop everything and Gale almost grins at the sight, can't help but find it a bit funny. He heads over, can't quite fight the mirth in his tone.

"Need a hand?"

Madge peeks at him over one of the bags, wilts in relief.

"Yes, _please_."

He takes the majority of them from her with a snort and she straightens up, starts walking with a bit more life in her steps. He's still grinning and she sees it from the corner of her eye, sticks out her tongue.

"You know, it's not nice to make fun of someone doing a good deed," she tells him, mock offended and he raises an eyebrow.

"Good deed?"

She nods. "Mrs Sparrowsaw's caught something, so I'm doing her groceries. She kept trying to get up, but that's just going to make her worse, she needs rest. But she was worried, it's time to do the shopping and her children are too young to do it themselves, so after I wrestled her into bed, I offered to do it myself." Madge readjusts the bags in her arms and Gale can't help but survey the large amount of food she seems to have bought, can't imagine a Seam budget could cover all this.

"Seems like a lot of food," he points out and Madge gives him that stubborn look, the one that says she's not going to back down no matter what he says.

"Mrs Sparrowsaw practically raised me and she deserves more than my father can afford to pay her, so if I spend my allowance buying a few extra things for her, you're just going to have to accept it. I might as well spend my money on the people I love, rather than wasting it on something useless." She's glaring at him, daring him to say something but he knows there's no point, Madge is adamant and as stubborn as a mule.

(and anyway, he finds it a bit nice, somewhere deep down where his pride doesn't reach)

"And also, this isn't all for her. I had to buy a few things to fix up the house."

This causes his eyebrows to go straight up.

"Fix the house?" he questions and Madge nods.

"Some of the pipes are starting to freeze up and the window in my room has terrible insulation, I'm trying to block it up so I don't wake up frozen one morning. I've tried just wrapping it with plastic, but that barely helps. Last year, I had ice on my wall some nights! I'm experimenting with a few new tricks this time around."

Madge says it perfectly matter of factly and Gale doesn't know what's more surprising, that the mayor's house has some of the same problems as his or that _Madge_ is the one trying to fix them.

Okay, it's _definitely_ the second one.

"What?" she asks, having clearly noted his expression.

"It's just... _you're_ fixing the pipes and the faulty insulation?"

Madge frowns at his tone. " _Yes_. Why is that so hard to believe?"

Gale stares at her. She _can't_ be serious.

"Well, you don't really strike me as the handy type," he tells her and her frown deepens.

"I'll have you know I'm _very_ handy."

He snorts.

"It's true!" she insists and he nods, but the laughter in his eyes doesn't dim.

She huffs. "My father's very busy, he doesn't have time to fix things around the house and as much as hiring someone might be nice, we don't really have much money to spare. We follow a strict budget and the only extra money we have is my allowance, and while I'm more than happy to give that up, it's nowhere near enough to pay someone. So, Mrs Sparrowsaw and me do all the handy work. She learned a lot from her husband before he passed and she showed me how to do most of it. I mean, we're certainly not Panem's best handywomen, but we're fairly competent."

It's odd, thinking of Madge on a budget, imagining her with things she can't afford. It's even odder imagining her fixing things around the house, trying to see her with a wrench and one of her pretty little dresses.

"You can stop laughing anytime," Madge comments drily and he tries to tamp it down.

"Sorry," he says but even he can tell it doesn't sound very sincere. "I'm sure you're very handy."

Madge sticks her tongue out again and he snorts.

"I am," she affirms and then her eyes flash. "You know what, that's it. The next time you need something fixed, you call me up and I'll show you just how handy I am," her voice is firm but there's a teasing in it somewhere underneath and he grins.

"I definitely will."

"Prepare to be amazed," she tells him and he laughs again, feels better than he has in days.

"I am _very_ prepared."

"Good," she says with a nod. "And here we are. Thank you for the help, even if you are kind of a jerk." They've reached the Sparrowsaws' and he rolls his eyes. Madge unlocks the door with a key she has and there's something in that, watching her unlock a house in the Seam, jiggle the stuck handle just right, prop open the door with her hip like she lives here, like this is something she's always doing.

He doesn't know what that something is but he does realize he doesn't really want to leave, isn't quite ready to say goodbye.

"You can just leave the stuff here, I'll bring it in and sort it out," she offers and he nods, sets the bags down. He's not quite ready to admit that he wants to talk a little longer, spend a bit more time in her company.

"I'll see you around," he says instead, waves as he walks away.

"Uh huh. Thanks again!" she calls and he nods, starts on his way home. He's almost there when he comes across Prim, probably on her way home after treating the Barberry boys, he's heard they've caught something nasty.

"Hi," she tells him cheerily and he smiles back. "Just finished a hunt with Katniss?" she asks and he nods.

They talk a bit but then it's almost time for supper so they part ways, start making their ways home.

But his mind's whirring a bit, charging around in circles. Usually his head's filled with Katniss at all times, trapped in a loop around her. She's always in the back of his thoughts, weighing him down with all the things they'll never have but he hadn't thought of her once with Madge, hadn't thought of her until Prim had brought her up.

He's not sure what that means but he thinks he likes it.

(he definitely likes it)

* * *

 _Madge cooks supper for the Sparrowsaws with a smile._

 _Talking, walking, laughing with Gale, it's nice. She never really gets to do that with anyone and she likes that she can make him smile, likes the happy feeling bubbling in her veins._

 _Twelve's treading dangerous waters, but right now, Madge is smiling, humming as she cuts vegetables and it's all thanks to Gale Hawthorne._

 _Whoever would have guessed?_

* * *

The first time Gale Hawthorne looks at Madge Undersee and sees her, really sees her, _all of her_ , he's nineteen and carries scars on his back, the angry red of punishment.

He sees her walking home from town and there's that tugging in his stomach, a pull that makes his feet head towards her.

(he recognizes the hat on her head, still white and he doesn't know why, but something stutters inside him)

He calls her name quietly and she turns, surprise painted across her cheeks, reddened by the cold.

"Gale!" she says and there's something in the way she says his name, like it's something bigger, better than it is.

"Are you-" she starts but then stops, looks down at the dirty snow beneath their feet. "Sorry, that's a stupid question."

He knows what she meant to ask, _are you okay_ , and he never knows how to answer that, what exactly he's meant to say. He's still a bit stiff, sore and sometimes he can still feel it happening, like phantom whips biting into his skin with a pain unlike any other in the world.

Madge looks like she's struggling to say something but Gale didn't come here for pleasantries.

"I really owe you one," he murmurs and he wonders why his voice is so low, wonders why his skin feels so tight. Madge looks up at him, tilts her head in confusion and he doesn't understand, can't believe she's forgotten something as important as this.

"For the morphling," he clarifies and something like disappointment or frustration or _something_ flashes in her eyes.

"No, you don't," she replies and there's a certain stubbornness in her voice, one that promises she won't accept anything else. He means to argue the point but Madge crosses her arms, cuts him off.

"You were hurt and I had the means to help. No one owes anyone anything."

 _That's bullshit_ he wants to shout but he doesn't want to yell at her, doesn't want to be annoyed or angry. The morphling did more for him than he could ever say and he wants to pay her back, wants her to understand what she's done for him. Gale hates owing people and he owes Madge Undersee a lot, has owed her for a while and he _needs_ to pay her back, needs to lessen the debt.

He grits his teeth, tries not to let his frustration show.

"You _hiked_ to Katniss' in the middle of a _snowstorm_ and if you'd been _caught_..." He doesn't finish that sentence but he doesn't need to, because they both know how it ends.

(and there's something inside him, cold and growing, the thought of Madge Undersee being caught rooting deep in his lungs)

Madge's eyes are wide, a bit caught off guard.

"Oh. I didn't think Katniss would tell you all that," she almost whispers, a light breeze playing with her hair.

"Well, she did." And for some reason, he looks away as he says it, can't bring himself to meet her eyes.

There's a silence between them, swirling in the spaces around them and Gale doesn't know how to break it, doesn't even know if he wants to.

"It doesn't change anything," Madge suddenly says and Gale jerks his head in her direction, doesn't understand what she's trying to say.

"How can you say that?" he asks and she smiles, fragile and new, a kind of light he can't explain shining in the blue of her eyes.

"You were hurt," she offers as an explanation and Gale can feel his breath leave him, doesn't know how he's supposed to feel.

"You could've been in so much trouble," he says in a strange voice, one he doesn't quite recognize.

"You were hurt," she repeats, like that's the only reasoning she'd ever need and Gale simply stares at her, doesn't know what he could possibly say.

The wind picks up, ruffles her skirt and catches on flyaway hair and Gale realizes that he's finally seeing Madge, the _real_ Madge.

Brave, selfless, stupid, caring, crazy, kind, reckless _Madge_ and this is her, all of her and Gale's not sure he'll ever look away again.

(he's not sure he could)

* * *

 _When Gale looks at her like that, like she's so much more than just Madge Undersee, she realizes there's no going back._

 _He's stitched himself into her skin and she wouldn't want it any other way._

* * *

(she's right, there really is no going back)


	3. Act Three: Myositis Scorpioides

_Ivory and Asphodel_

 _Act Three: Myositis Scorpioides_

The first time Gale Hawthorne looks at Madge Undersee and sees her as a friend, consciously, well, that never happens.

He never says the words out loud and neither does she, but its there, a friendship grown in hardship.

Gale doesn't know when they become friends, he just knows _they are_ and in the end, that's what matters.

* * *

 _Madge knows in her heart that she can count Gale among her friends now and she knows it's thanks to Katniss, knows she's what brought them together._

 _(but maybe, maybe this was always going to happen, ever since Gale Hawthorne picked up a little hat in November, looked at Madge Undersee for the very first time)_

* * *

The first time Gale Hawthorne looks at Madge Undersee and feels his heart break, he is nineteen and the quarter quell's just been announced.

Katniss is going back to the games, no question about it and Gale feels like he's sinking, feels like he can't remember how to swim. He's floundering about because regardless of whatever else they are, Katniss is his _best friend_ and she can't go back, _she can't_.

(except she is, and there's nothing he can do to stop it)

He's going to do whatever he can to help her, anything at all because he _needs_ to do something, can't just watch like he did last time. Whatever she needs, he's going to do it, _he will_.

She's his best friend, no matter what.

(but of course, he's not Katniss Everdeen's only friend)

He's on his way to see Katniss, she's already expressed interest in him teaching her and Peeta and Haymitch all he knows about traps and snares, when he hears it, a soft, painful sniffling. He stops, listens carefully and realizes it's coming from behind a tree slightly ahead and to his left. He creeps over cautiously, isn't sure what he's going to find.

(he didn't expect this)

It's Madge Undersee, leaning against the tree and weeping quietly into her hands, tears dripping onto the grass by her feet.

She's a pale smudge against the dark of the bark and he feels like something's tightening around his chest, squeezing his ribs until they crack. His heart's thudding a little erratically, his stomach turning and he doesn't know if she hears him or not, but Madge looks up, takes note of him in surprise.

"Gale!" she exclaims, hurriedly wipes at the tears on her cheeks. His nod's a little stiff and she smiles, acts like her eyes aren't rimmed in red, acts like nothing's at all out of the ordinary.

"On your way to see Katniss?" she asks and he wishes she'd stop acting cheerful, stop forcing a smile.

"You're teaching them traps and things, right? I wish I could help, but unless there'll be a piano recital, I'm not much use." She laughs a little but it's not the one he knows, not the one he wants.

"Madge..."

"I should go, I don't want to keep you," she says as she slips past him, voice failing to hide the strain.

"Madge," he repeats and she stops, turns back with a wilting grin. He doesn't know why she's doing this, why she's trying to act so brave, why she's afraid to let him know she's been crying. But the look in her eyes is the way he feels inside and that does it, makes him act without really thinking.

He puts his hands on her shoulders, makes her jump a bit in surprise.

"Katniss...Katniss is going to be okay. She's tough, she knows what she's doing..." He's not really sure where he intends to go with this, knows there's no real way to reassure her. Madge's eyes are wide, growing wet and he tightens his grip on her, wonders why he can't think of what to say.

"I...I know," Madge murmurs, voice shaky but still strong and she smiles again. "If there's one thing I have faith in, it's Katniss."

(he can feel that faith, like she's a battery charge sparking beneath his fingers)

"It's just... _not fair_. That Katniss has to go back. But she needs us both now, needs us to be strong. So no more tears," and now it's like she's talking to herself, scolding herself for letting her sadness out this once. He feels something in his chest snap as he watches her, feels pain sharp and fresh.

He moves again without thinking, pulls Madge into his chest. She gasps and his arms go all the way around her, keep her as close as he can.

(he's never liked seeing people sad, has always hated when people cried, but with Madge it's something different, a need he doesn't understand. It's almost like with Posy, this driving force to keep her happy, to never let her cry but it's not quite the same, is different in a way he can't explain)

(but maybe, if his head wasn't so determined to keep his heart stuck on Katniss Everdeen, he'd be able to see the piece of the puzzle he's been missing)

"Gale?" she questions, voice soft as snow and he doesn't really understand the storm inside him, the raging he can feel in his blood.

"You don't have to be strong with me," he mumbles and even though the words feel foreign on his tongue, he knows he means it, knows it's important she understands. She doesn't answer at first but her hands slide around his neck, lock behind his head.

"You either," she whispers and he doesn't think he's ever had this, someone who's seen all the way under his walls, seen Gale without the anger as a shield.

(and if it was anyone else, he doesn't think he'd ever let them)

They stand there, holding each other near and for the first time in what feels like forever, Gale feels warm, feels okay, feels almost happy.

(he'll never admit it, but somewhere, he thinks that maybe Madge Undersee's the only one who could make him feel this way)

Neither of them says anything else and maybe that's for the best.

(the truth's easier to hide in silence)

* * *

 _Katniss is going back._

 _KATNISS IS GOING BACK_

 _Madge can hear the words, screaming screaming screaming in her head and she knows she has to be brave for Katniss, but her courage starts to waver when she leaves Katniss' house, starts to slink away._

 _(Katniss is a hero but Madge, Madge will never be)_

 _Gale finds her and it's always him, seeing her at her weakest. She's so embarrassed, tries to hide the sad bits she keeps under lock and key. But she's as clear as glass to Gale, entirely transparent and he says exactly what she's always needed someone to say._

 _"You don't have to be strong with me."_

 _(Gale's a hero too, Madge's very own)_

 _She hugs him back, feels stronger already, promises him he can let his walls down with her._

 _(he shakes in her arms and maybe, maybe she's his hero too)_

* * *

The first time Gale Hawthorne looks at Madge Undersee and admits to himself that he's spending time with her not because of Katniss, but because she's _Madge_ , he is nineteen and the recaps blare on television, show him the horror he's already lived.

He feels sick, but he's angry too, furious because Katniss never stood a chance. There's rebellion in the air, stirred up by Katniss and Snow's trying to quiet her, keep her down for good.

 _Don't let him win, Catnip_ , Gale thinks fiercely, knows Katniss can do this.

(and that's one thing he'll never lose faith in, no matter what)

Madge inhales sharply beside him and Gale focuses back on the screen, scowls as he sees the Reaping of District Twelve for the second time today.

(you think it wouldn't hurt as much the second time around, but it does)

(it _does_ )

Madge grabs his hand when Katniss is called up, fingers trembling and Gale wishes he didn't have to watch this, wishes Snow didn't force them to.

(except, even if it wasn't mandatory, he'd be watching, couldn't bear not to)

Gale sighs heavily when the recaps end, squeezes Madge's hand in his, isn't sure if the sweat he feels is hers or his. Not that it matters, not really.

"I guess that it's then," she murmurs, eyes downcast and Gale nods, keeps seeing Katniss standing on stage, sees her led away without a goodbye.

(and that, _that_ makes him angry enough to burn down the world)

"I'll see you tomorrow," Madge says and Gale turns to her, sees his feelings reflected in the shining of her eyes. She lets go of his hand, taken in comfort, and he feels a little empty, isn't sure he wants to say goodbye just yet.

"I'll walk you home," he offers and Madge stops, eyes widening just a bit.

"You...you don't need to," she stammers and he shrugs, tries to keep his face straight.

"I know, but I don't mind." Madge stares for a bit, makes him uncomfortable but finally she grins, nods her head.

"Alright, thanks." Her voice is bright and her smile nice and Gale almost smiles back, somersaults going in his stomach.

(not that he'd admit that)

They start to walk but then Madge stops short, looks unsure as they come across a clump of guys blocking their path. They're deep in conversation and Gale recognizes them from work, gives the nearest one a tap on the arm.

"Can you guys move this somewhere else? You're kind of in the way." The guy turns, Gale thinks his name might be Kern, and Madge hovers a bit behind Gale, fidgets with her hands.

"Hawthorne! Leaving already?" Kern asks, sounds a bit amused and Gale frowns.

"Yeah and like I said, you're blocking the way out." Kern nods but then pauses, narrows his eyes at Gale.

"Why d'you need to go this way? Seam's back behind you, shouldn't you be headed that way?" Gale wonders how to answer and then Kern's eyes slide past him, land on Madge. His mouth pops open, eyes going wide and Gale grimaces, is not looking forward to this at all.

"That the mayor's daughter?" Kern asks, voice heavy with disbelief and the other guys turn, take in the scene before them. Gale stiffens at the looks on their faces, staring at him and Madge like they're some sort of freak show.

(but they are, aren't they? a seam boy and the mayor's daughter, what could be more unnatural than that?)

Kern leans close, whispers loudly in Gale's ear.

(his breath smells and he spits, gets the side of Gale's face wet)

"You fooling with the mayor's daughter?" Kern asks, curiosity leaking into every word and Gale pulls back, notices all the other guys eagerly awaiting his answer. Madge knots her fingers together, shifts nervously under everyone's stares.

"No," he answers curtly but Kern doesn't look convinced, a nasty sort of grin twisting his face.

"Got tired of all them Seam girls at the slag heap, figured you'd try something a little... _better quality_?" Kern's voice is mocking, filled with derision and Gale tenses, sees Madge blanch.

"I get it man, who wouldn't want a taste?" Kern asks, eyes Madge up and she hugs herself, tries to keep her chin up. The other guys leer too and Gale clenches his fists, tries his best to stay calm.

"Drop it," Gale advises but Kern ignores him, smirks obnoxiously.

"What's it like, knowing she's just slumming it when she's with you?" Kern questions, runs his gaze up and down Madge in a way that makes her flinch, bite down hard on her lips.

"Fuck off," Gale growls and they all laugh, like this is just some big, stupid joke.

"Aw, come on man, it's a real honour. None of us could tempt a pretty little rich girl like her, the only town girl we'd get is that slut Lanna Thimmonier. You've done us all proud," Kern guffaws, claps Gale on the shoulder and he's a second from punching Kern in his ugly, smug face. Gale opens his mouth to retort, or mostly just to say something rude that his mother'd box his ears for but he never gets the chance.

"I think that's enough," Madge insists, voice a bit shaky but still firm. "Gale and I aren't...any of that. I'm friends with Katniss and Gale is nice to me for her sake. That's all. Now if you don't mind, I have to get home," Madge still sounds a bit nervous but there's a steel in her that he can't help but admire. Her words, on the other hand, stick like knives in his skin, make him feel ill.

She doesn't really think that does she? That he's only nice to her for Katniss' sake?

Kern and the others don't seem to know what to say and Gale looks at Madge, feels like his chest's being constricted. She starts to move past him, meets his eyes for the briefest of seconds and Gale feels something in him shift sideways.

Madge Undersee is nice, is kind, can make him laugh. He feels better when he's around her, likes spending time in her company. He feels like he can be himself, feels like he can trust her, feels like he's doing something right when he holds her hand, comforts her when she's upset.

Madge Undersee is his friend because she's _Madge_ , weird and brave and comforting. Because she's interested in rebellion, always want to help others, laughs at bad jokes. Because she doesn't judge others, is ever hopeful, is sweet and silly and kind of amazing.

He could let her walk away right now, let them all believe that he doesn't really care. It'd be easier and Madge probably wouldn't get mad, would probably still stand by him tomorrow. He could avoid the rumours sure to spread, could avoid the complications being friends with Madge Undersee entails.

Madge would understand.

But he doesn't want her to.

She's ridiculous, way too understanding, forgives things she shouldn't. She's so frustrating, drives him crazy and...he'd never want her to change.

Gale looks at Madge Undersee, in the blue skies in her eyes and he knows he isn't just nice to her because of Katniss. It's because she's _her_ and he likes her, would like her even if Katniss Everdeen had never been reaped.

(he doesn't think about the fact that they might never have really spoken if she hadn't been, doesn't want to consider one of the better things in his life coming from one of the worst)

He knows too that if he lets her walk away right now, then he doesn't deserve a friend like her, steady, compassionate, strawberry buying Madge Undersee.

She keeps walking, is just about to slip past him when he grabs her hand, wraps his fingers around hers. She stops, turns back in confusion.

"Gale?" she asks, blinks her eyes at him and the guys stare, just as lost.

"I said I'd walk you home," he reminds her and she inhales, eyes round with surprise. The guys start to whisper together and Gale can feel her skin, warm against his as he waits for her to do something, feels a flush creep its way up his neck.

The shock on her face begins to soften, the sun rising in her eyes as she starts to smile and Gale can feel his stomach doing back flips.

"She's the _mayor's daughter_ ," Kern stresses, jolts Gale back to the real world. He rolls his eyes, doesn't let go of Madge.

"Thanks, I hadn't noticed," he replies, shoves past them. Madge follows after, her hand still linked with his and Gale can hear the guys muttering amongst themselves. He ignores them, starts the walk to the mayor's house.

Madge draws closer to his side and he can see she wants to say something, is trying to figure out the best way to put it in words. She bites her bottom lip and Gale's eyes stay on that, can't seem to flick away. She opens her mouth and then seems to think better of it, swallows the words and merely hugs his arm, the brightest smile he's ever seen glowing on her lips.

They stay in silence for the rest of the walk and Gale is grateful, is too focused on the strange swirling in his gut.

(and it's okay too, because this silence is warm, comfortable)

They reach her house, looming large in the dying light and Madge begins to pull away, a chill creeping into his side where she'd been. She starts to untangle their fingers and it's only then does Gale realize he'd held her hand the entire way. There's a lance of shock through his nerves but then Madge is beaming at him again and he forgets his words for a moment, is temporarily rendered speechless.

"Thanks," she says, voice sprinkled with affection and he knows she isn't just talking about walking her home.

(he'd never admit it, but he's pretty sure friendship isn't meant to feel this way)

He still can't find his voice, nods a little instead and she starts to walk up the steps, turns back when she reaches the porch. The light makes her hair shine gold and his eyes widen, can't seem to look away.

"You know, I was lying, back there. I know you're not just nice to me for Katniss' sake. I've known that for a while." There's faith and trust in her tone and Gale feels relief like a fire in his blood. He doesn't answer, isn't sure he could and he wonders why his tongue's become so useless.

"Goodnight Gale," she whispers and there's something happening in his chest as he stares at her, can see stardust in her eyes.

"Goodnight Madge," he manages to get out, somehow, and she smiles again, puts the moon to shame. She heads inside and Gale stands there until she's out of sight, stays there a little longer after.

When did Madge Undersee become so _beautiful?_

(she's always been, he was just too stupid to notice)

He doesn't really know how he gets home, can't remember the walk he must have taken because his mind's tangled up in Madge Undersee, completely lost in her.

(Katniss Everdeen still lingers in the corners of his heart, but maybe, just maybe, Madge Undersee is starting to seep through the cracks)

(except there is no maybe, Madge Undersee's in there, has been for awhile)

But Gale is good at lying, especially to himself and he pushes her down, hides her somewhere deep and tries to tell himself that there's nothing going on.

(he almost believes it)

He goes to sleep, thinks of Katniss, but even in his dreams, he can see a flash of blonde in the corner of his eye, taste strawberries faint against his tongue.

(but it's nothing)

Except it isn't.

* * *

 _Gale Hawthorne glows in the setting sun, looks like the handsome prince in every story Madge had read as a child._

 _He takes her hand and she is breathless, doesn't think she could ever stop looking at him, at the promise shining in the silver of his eyes._

 _"I said I'd walk you home," he reminds her gently, the warmth of his tone wrapping around her like a blanket and Madge's heart stutters, the miners falling away until all there is, is Gale. A Gale Hawthorne made of sunbeams and her very best dreams._

 _But then, she shouldn't be surprised._

 _Gale has always been loyal, steadfast, brave and kind and caring. He has always been the courageous knight, maybe without the shining armor and white steed but then he's never needed it._

 _He holds her hand, walks her home and tells the world that he isn't afraid of rumours and whispers, doesn't care about the divides sewn into the fabric of District Twelve._

 _(she wants to say something but can't find the right words, hugs him close and hopes her heart beat can do the talking)_

 _They arrive at her door and he looks at her in a way he never has before, eyes wide and full of stars. Madge can feel fireworks start to burst under her skin, feels it like sparks of lightning in her blood._

 _She wishes him a good night, knows her heart is shining in her eyes._

 _(and it is a good night, one of the very best she's ever had)_

 _Madge falls asleep and dreams of fairy tales, begins to believe they can come true._

 _(the question, of course, is will hers?)_

* * *

The first time Gale Hawthorne looks at Madge Undersee and thinks of the future, he's nineteen and the 75th Games have officially begun.

Everyone is antsy, on edge and so is Gale, swept up in the possibility of a rebellion growing closer every day. Everyone can feel it, taste it and even the victors themselves start to light fires, spend their interviews hewing cracks in the Capitol's foundations.

(and then there's Katniss and Peeta, supposedly married and pregnant)

Gale can't wait, is ready to fight back against the Capitol and he can sense that same desire thrumming through Madge, standing beside him. She keeps her eyes entirely focused on the screen and Gale can't help but linger on her profile, trace the edges of her face.

(lies are getting harder and harder to believe)

The sun dips low behind the horizon, the streetlights turn hazy as they begin to glow and Gale knows it's time to walk Madge home, knows she's supposed to be inside before the moon's too high in the sky.

They go quietly, close but not touching and he doesn't hold her hand this time.

(and he doesn't want to, not at all)

She's thinking, looks deep in thought and Gale wonders what's on her mind, wonders if her head's as chaotic as his right now.

"It's coming, the rebellion. Coming soon," she murmurs, voice almost lost in the wind but that makes sense, Peacekeepers have no tolerance for talk like this. Gale nods, brain sprinting in circles, ideas of revolution painted across his every breath.

"Everyone's so worried, so scared. But I guess that makes sense, so many things could go wrong, it's almost safer not to hope, not to get excited over possibilities," she continues, eyes trailing on the ground and Gale frowns, wants to say _no_ , possibilities are worth it, are the beginning of everything.

"Maybe I'm naive, but I don't like thinking like that. I want to believe that there's always hope. That no matter how bad everything seems, no matter how many times we fail and things go wrong, a happy ending is never out of the question." Her voice is soft but there's the hint of a smile on her lips, bright lights in her eyes and he can feel her faith in his bones.

(Gale doesn't say it, but he likes that idea, likes that she's always hopeful, no matter what)

"I _am_ terrified," she admits and he steps a little closer, doesn't even realize he's doing it. "But I don't want to be scared of the future. I _want_ to be optimistic, want to focus on the things that could go right instead of wrong," she pauses, tilts her face towards him slightly. "I don't know exactly what I want for the rest of my life," and then her eyes meet his, shy and bashful and Gale thinks maybe she knows a bit more than she's willing to share, "but I don't want to hide from it. So I keep telling myself that no matter what happens, even if things don't work out this time, there's always next time. The story's not over and it won't be, not ever, because the best ones never are," she finishes, conviction heavy in her tone and Gale stares at her.

(something he's been doing a lot lately)

He can't help but think of his own future, about what he wants for the rest of _his_ life.

He doesn't have a clear cut answer, some vague ideas about his family being safe, no more Capitol, no more Hunger Games, no more starving or mines or oppression but when he looks at Madge, he realizes there's something else he wants his future to have.

Whatever else happens, he wants a future that has Madge Undersee as a part of it.

* * *

 _Madge doesn't think about the future often, is happier to focus on the present but sometimes she can't help it, imagines all the things she wishes would come to pass._

 _She wants her mother to get better, wants her father to be happy again, wants her family to be whole._

 _She wants Katniss to be free of the Capitol, wants Peeta to live in peace._

 _She wants Panem to be safe from Snow, wants a world without terror as a daily occurrence._

 _She wants the Hawthornes to be okay too, wants them to have the happy life they deserve._

 _And of course, there's Gale_

 _She wants Gale in her future, wants him in her life forever._

 _She wants, well, she wants some more specific things too but she can't even think it without blushing, has always been shy where feelings are concerned._

 _But that's okay._

 _She's got their whole lives to work up the courage._

* * *

The first time Gale Hawthorne looks at Madge Undersee and isn't afraid of the possibility of _more_ , he is nineteen and the world's about to change forever.

He walks her home after watching the Games and even though Katniss is in them again, (Peeta too) nothing puts him at ease like watching with Madge Undersee. There's still a hurricane in his gut, but she's like the eye of every storm, the only calm he can feel on days like today.

His fingers accidentally brush against hers as they walk, so very _very_ close together, and Gale can feel something hot in his stomach, can hear her sharp intake of breath. He looks over at her and Madge always looks best at this time of day, glows with all the colours of dusk.

(he's given up trying to tell himself she's not beautiful, given up pretending he doesn't notice)

Her tongue pokes out, wets her lip and Gale's eyes linger on that, hesitate to move away. There's that feeling in his veins, the one he always gets around Madge and he recognizes it, of course he does, but there's still that wall he's built up, the lock he refuses to open.

(what is he so afraid of?)

Her house draws nearer and he wishes the walk was longer, wishes goodbye didn't always have to happen so soon. His footsteps slow and so do hers and they take their time, try to prolong the moments before goodnight. It's pointless but then, in his little corner of denial, it's the only way he can keep her with him just a bit longer.

(he should win a prize for sheer stubbornness)

Her porch comes close and their time's run out, but Madge dawdles a bit, doesn't take the steps up to the door. He looks down at her in question and finally she turns, smoothes down her dress absentmindedly. She's smiling, the one that does odd things to his insides and his eyes get caught in it, get lost in the curve of her mouth, in the soft pink of her lips.

"Thanks for walking me home," she murmurs, voice sweet and his gaze stutters upwards, finds her eyes and gets trapped in those, the promise of bright summer skies.

"No problem," he mumbles, tongue absolutely useless but he means it, wouldn't mind walking her home every day.

(but there's nothing between them, nothing at all)

She finally goes up the steps, turns back to him at the top. The porch light gives her skin a golden hue and she leans against the railing, something in him tightening at the sight.

"Goodnight, Gale," she says, voice hushed but warm in a way that reaches into him, heats his blood. He's still staring at her, trapped in the colour of her cheeks, blooming and soft.

(he'll be lucky if he could ever look away)

(except he'd be even luckier if he could look at her forever)

"Goodnight, Madge," he somehow manages to say and her smile widens, blinds him with sunbeams. He's still stunned by her when she leans a bit forward, seems to maybe want to come back down the stairs towards him. His blood heats a little more and he takes a tentative step forward, draws closer and her fingers tighten on the rail, breathing a little quicker.

The pink in her cheeks darkens and he's still walking forward without even really thinking about what he's doing. Her tongue's out again, slides over her lips and his eyes are drawn to it like magnets, unable to pull away. His feet hit the bottom step and he stops, suddenly realizes how much closer they've gotten. She hovers a few steps above him and he can smell her, like vanilla and cloud bursts.

"Gale..." she says, voice mostly just a breath of air and it's like the dam he's kept in his chest cracks right in half, crumbles down into dust. There's no more denying it, not with the way she says his name, not with the way it makes him feel.

They aren't just friends, haven't been for awhile.

They're caught somewhere between friends and more but he doesn't care, doesn't see that gap as something to run away from anymore. It might be because of the way she's looking at him or the surge of courage he always feels around her or maybe it's because the world is changing and Gale is ready to change with it, but it doesn't matter, not really, because no matter what the reason is, he's willing to admit there's something here, a possibility he definitely wants to explore.

He's not sure when he started walking up the stairs but he's drawn level with her, her face just inches from his own. Her breath fans out across his face and his hands move, rest lightly on her hips. She inhales and his heart thuds unevenly in his chest, beats against his rib cage. Her eyes flutter closed, her head tilts towards his and _this is it_.

(every life has turning points, this is just one he never saw coming)

Gale leans forward just enough, meets Madge's mouth with his own.

Her lips are soft, move slowly against his and that heat's back but a hundred times hotter, sets his nerves on fire until he can't think straight. There's nothing but Madge, the taste of her, the feel of her and then her fingers are in his hair, send shivers through his blood.

"I'm glad to see you're home, I was worrie-" her housekeeper's voice cuts off suddenly and Gale pulls away from Madge, still feels a bit dazed. Her face is bright red and Mrs Sparrowsaw curls her lip, gives Gale a disapproving look. He tries to back away a bit farther, can still feel Madge's skin but he's forgotten he's on the stairs, nearly falls back and flat on his ass.

Madge giggles a little hysterically and Mrs Sparrowsaw's frown deepens while Gale steadies himself, takes firm hold of the railing.

(this is not at all how he pictured this going)

"I think it'd be best if you made your way home," Mrs Sparrowsaw tells him, rests a hand on Madge's arm. He ignores her, won't be scared off by a less than pleased mother-figure, looks to Madge instead. Her face is still as red as a tomato but her eyes are shining bright, her lips smiling just for him.

"I'll see you tomorrow," she promises and he nods, his mouth no longer working. He watches her go inside, his heart still pounding without rhythm. The door shuts behind them and then he hears the lock click, like Mrs Sparrowsaw is afraid he might try and follow them inside.

(normally he'd be offended

but to be offended, you have to be able to think straight

and Gale certainly can't do that right now)

He forces his limbs to work, goes home in a fog and when he finally falls asleep, his dreams are all wrapped up in Madge, soft skin, pretty smiles, a beating in his chest.

(and maybe a little more too)

Everything's been flipped on its head but it's okay, he'll deal with it later, figure it all out tomorrow.

Tomorrow, the day the Games end.

And the world with them.

* * *

 _Madge Undersee wishes Gale goodnight in bed, carries him in her heart._

 _Her mouth tingles with the ghost of his, her mind spins and Gale lives in every corner of her, fills her from top to bottom._

 _She falls asleep with a smile on her lips, dreams of the promise of tomorrow._

* * *

The first time Gale Hawthorne looks at Madge Undersee and stops worrying about what comes next, just lets himself be happy, it's the last day of the final Games, the beginning of the end.

He still hasn't figured out what to say on his way to meet her, isn't sure what to do when he sees her. He can't just act like nothing's happened but he doesn't know what step he's supposed to take next, doesn't even know what step he _wants_ to take next.

(he's got a few ideas but there's still the memory of Katniss, still the fear he hasn't quite erased)

He reaches her house and he still hasn't figured anything out, hovers just beyond her gate in indecision. _Suck it up_ , he tells himself but he doesn't, still hesitates. He takes a deep breath, tries to steel himself but then Madge arrives, takes the decision right out of his hands.

"Hi," she greets with a happy smile and Gale grins back, does it entirely by reflex. She takes his hand and he likes the way it feels, the way hers fits in his. Madge peeks at him in question, asks him with her eyes if this is okay, if she's crossed some sort of line she shouldn't have.

He could worry about this but maybe he doesn't have to, maybe he should just let this happen, just be happy while he can. The world's on the brink and maybe he doesn't have everything figured out, but he does know one thing.

Whatever this is, he likes it, doesn't want it to end.

And maybe that's what matters.

* * *

 _Madge is beside herself with nerves come morning, realizes she'll have to do something, make some sort of decision regarding Gale._

 _She doesn't want whatever's between them to stop, but her head and her heart are at odds, can't agree on a course of action._

 _She can't ignore last night, doesn't want to but it's what comes next that scares her. Does she wait for him to do something? Make the first move herself? And what if he's decided he's no longer interested, what then?_

 _(Madge really hopes she never has to answer that)_

 _But then Gale arrives at her gate, looks nervous and adorable and every one of her fears drains away. He grins when he sees her, looks as happy as she feels and squeezes her hand when she silently asks if this is okay._

 _And sure, there's still talking they need to do, still things they need to figure out but that can wait until later._

 _For now, she just wants to enjoy this._

* * *

The last time Gale Hawthorne sees Madge Undersee is just a few hours later that same day, the day the rebellion truly begins.

They're standing shoulder to shoulder in the square, stronger together and then Katniss does something no one ever imagined, starts the revolution with a bang.

(but they really shouldn't be surprised, this _is_ Katniss after all)

Katniss shoots her arrow at the arena wall and Gale is still holding Madge's hand, squeezes tight when the screen bursts a violent white, distant explosions echoing in every home, in every district. People flinch, cover their eyes, their ears and then the screen snaps black, cuts them and the whole of Panem off from whatever's just happened in the Games.

There's confusion in the air, worry too and Madge draws closer to him, her own concern bleeding through her skin to his. Everyone starts talking over each other, panic rising in their voices and Gale knows this is it, knows Katniss has lit the fuse beneath the Capitol's walls, knows there's no going back from this.

(he just hopes she hasn't got herself caught in the blast, prays they'll see each other again)

Gale isn't sure what to do but then the power cuts out, all of Twelve turned dark and the Peacekeepers start to march away, abandon the district while they still can, and he _knows_.

 _We need to get out_.

 _Now._

Madge is still clutching his arm, terror starting to creep across her features and he won't let anything happen to her. He _won't_. Gale starts to move, pulls Madge with him, knows he has to get his family, warn anyone he can.

This isn't going to end well, it can't.

"Wait. Gale, _wait_ ," Madge insists, tugs at his arm. He looks back in confusion, because they don't have time for this, they need to _move_.

"Something horrible's about to happen, isn't it?" she asks and he wants to lie but he can't, nods instead.

"I have to go home. Have to get my parents," she tells him, is already pulling away and he wants to protest, wants to argue but what could he say? No? You can't save your family? He couldn't say that, never would but he can't go with her, needs to make sure his own family makes it out.

"It's okay," she reassures him, smile a bit wobbly and she squeezes his hand, her nails scraping at his skin.

(but it's not okay, not at all)

"I'll meet you out there. Be safe," she whispers, her eyes bright as they look at each other, his chest feeling too tight. Gale never wants to let her go, wants to keep her close but she smiles a little sadly and he knows he can't, knows she needs to do this. She kisses his cheek, breath lingering against his skin and then she drops his hand, turns and flees, leaves Gale standing alone in the square.

He feels like Madge is dragging half of him with her, pulling him apart and he wants to run after her, make sure she's safe but he can't, needs to trust her and warn as many people as he can.

He takes one last look in the direction she left in, touches his cheek, still warm from her kiss.

 _I'm coming back for you, Madge, I promise._

 _I'm coming back for you._

* * *

 _Madge runs back to her house, needs to see her mother and father to safety._

 _She can't lose them, she won't but she promises herself something else, promises she's going to live through this, is going to find Gale Hawthorne on the other side of the fence._

 _"I promise," she whispers to herself, and it's for Gale too, for the worry she saw in his eyes._

 _I'm going to see you again, I promise._

* * *

Gale Hawthorne does go back for Madge Undersee.

Or at least he tries to.

He makes sure his family's safe and then he turns back, pushes past all the people running in the opposite direction. He slips through the fence, hurries through the meadow, crosses into the Seam.

And then the town disappears, lost in a burning, blazing inferno.

Gale is flung back by the force of the blast, feels heat curl against his skin. He stands on jelly legs, his ears ringing and then the second wave comes, forces him farther back.

The town is gone, swallowed by hell and the Seam is sure to follow and Gale watches the fire twisting against the sky, feels his heart burn away with Madge.

She's gone.

And Gale knows as he stands there, tastes blood on his tongue, that he'll never see Madge Undersee again.

* * *

Except that's a lie.

Gale Hawthorne never stops seeing Madge Undersee.

She's everywhere, dancing just beyond his vision. He can see her around every corner, slipping between every tree. He sees a girl with blonde hair and for just a second, just one tiny second, she's Madge.

He tries to force her out, tries to focus on rebellion, tries to fill his heart with Katniss Everdeen. It almost works, almost almost but not quite, never all the way. He kisses Katniss and he can see Peeta in her eyes, knows her head's tangled up in him and it doesn't bother him as much as it should, doesn't hurt like he wants it to.

(and he knows, deep down, that it's because he's got his own blue-eyed blonde to fill his veins, to tangle in his thoughts)

He puts his mind to rebellion, to taking down the Capitol once and for all, but once again, there's always the shadow of a dead girl pushing him forward, keeping his fire burning. And when it's over, when Snow is dead and Katniss is gone and Gale is left to drown alone, Madge is still there, _always there_.

He sees her in the white of every snowfall, in the colours of every sunrise. He sees her at the market, in the red of every strawberry, sees her in the shiny shoes he wears to his new job when the war's all done. He sees her hiding in the shadows, sees her hovering in the corners of every room. She's blurry, hazy but always there, his little phantom girl.

He grows older but still she lingers, faded but glowing pale and he doesn't know if he wants her to leave or stay, doesn't know if he wants this haunting to end.

(he's got regrets like a mountain above him, mistakes he can't bear to count and Madge is like a punishment and a mercy all at once)

Sometimes he sees others too, sees Prim darting through the streets, sees Katniss turning away and Gale is hit again with all the things he's done, all the things he'll never forgive.

And even after he's made up with Katniss, repaired their friendship, even after she and his family and everyone else has reassured him a thousand times that Prim's death wasn't his fault, he'll still see Madge Undersee, flitting in the corner of his eye.

(but maybe that's because there's no one to tell him this wasn't his fault, no one who even knows why he'd care, no one who knows about the _almosts_ and the _could have beens_ and the potential Gale's only ever had a taste of)

(because maybe that's the real problem)

(it's not just the broken heart, it's the guilt and the life he could've had but never will)

* * *

He sits in Katniss' backyard in Twelve, years and years and years after everything's changed, watches her children run free and he's happy for her, glad at least one of them's living a life like this.

(he loves Katniss Everdeen but it's not like he used to, it's just friendship and family and that's the way he wishes it always had been, but he can't change the past, but oh, he would if he could)

The wind picks up and little Amaryllis Mellark loses her hat, squeals as it blows right off her head. Gale looks up, watches the hat tumble towards him. It's hand knitted and white, clean and bright and Gale bends down, picks it up.

(there's something heavy where his heart should be and then he thinks he can feel her, a phantom touch on his back)

"Uncle Gale! You caught my hat!" Amaryllis shouts across the yard, waves him over. He walks towards her, his feet move without him thinking and Madge lives in his footsteps. He reaches Amaryllis and she grins, not even a single shadow darkening her eyes. Gale feels his own lips start to smile, feels the weights in his limbs start to lessen.

"Thanks!" she tells him with a beam, little red mittened hands reaching out for it and Gale ruffles her hair, makes her swat at him with laughter. He pulls that little white hat down over her eyes, laughs at her exaggerated pout and feels the sharp edge of regret start to soften. Amaryllis turns back to her brother and the game of tag they've started and Gale watches them, can see everything he fought for, everything he wanted the future to hold in the brightness of their smiles, in the glee in their eyes.

Gale has spent years learning that it's okay to be happy, that he has things to be proud of, that he doesn't need to feel guilty all the time. But for some reason he hasn't let go of Madge yet, keeps this one regret close to his chest.

(but maybe it's finally time to stop holding on)

"You ready for supper?" Peeta asks, pokes his head out the door and both little Mellarks cheer, hurry inside. The wind is fierce again and away goes Amaryllis' hat, but Gale grabs it and _maybe_ , he realizes, looks at fabric so familiar, maybe he's carried regret long enough.

(he _has_ made mistakes, but he can't change that now, can't spend the rest of his life living in what could have been)

He takes Madge Undersee, tucks her away in his heart with his father and Prim, with those loved and lost and knows he'll never forget her, won't let her memory grow cold.

"Come on, Uncle Gale!" Amaryllis shouts from inside and Gale smiles, looks up at the sky.

Maybe this isn't the happily ever after anyone would've imagined, would've hoped for, but then, who says the story's over?

The wind picks up, carries vanilla through the trees and Gale heads inside.

He still has a life to live and who knows?

Maybe, one day, he'll meet Madge Undersee again.

* * *

 _(and somewhere, Madge Undersee smiles)_

 _(because this story, it isn't over)_

 _(the best ones never are)_

* * *

 _(myositis scorpioides; commonly known as forget-me-nots, meaning: true love, remember me forever)_

 _(asphodel, meaning: my regrets will follow you into the grave)_


End file.
